COMPULSORY ADMINISTRATION (versione italiana)

The first outstanding problem to be addressed is the ridiculous ineffectiveness of the Italian institutions and of the parliament in first instance. Political classes always mirror a people’s general attitude and –this has to be admitted- the Italians have a wit for and do like dodging their own way through laws and regulations. Therefore a solid starting point and bloodless solution could be imposing to the country a compulsory administration that would hold the parliament’s duty, a sort of board of directors whose members should be chosen among some people who  demonstrated to appreciate and respect Italy more than the Italians do.

The Japanese for example. In January 2008 some Japanese students left their signatures on a wall on the top of Brunelleschi’s dome in Florence, adding their school name and the date of their visit. After some time those characters were found by another group of Nipponese tourists, who took a picture of that shame and reported the story once back home.  The students were all suspended from school and had to apologize in public with both their peers and Italian authorities, apart from  personally having to clean up what they had written at their own expenses. Of course this is quite an example of the famous Japanese sense of honour, and might sound excessive to many. Without looking too far away from the Mediterranean anyway, a German administration could be sufficient, too, for a fair governance of Italy and no doubt the Germans would be able to make the first energetic power of Europe out of it and the greenest of all member states, if only they finally resolved to invade us instead of grading our economic policies! Alas they’ve already shown to really be the most developed democracy of the Union refusing to export progress and freedom through bombs. Nevertheless, my friends the Germans, let me offer you this piece of advice: you could still reduce Italy to a Lander of yours  is a soft way : we are sinking in our own debts and we’re directed by officers who’re cheaper than street harlots, although they care less about appearances, promising to the Italians that they won’t be treated as second-class citizens and offering a serious technological investment plan should be enough to grant you an unanimous request of annexation.

FOREWORD (versione italiana)

It is my will to begin this public letter of mine greeting and honouring His Emmittance the Big Grass Snake of channel 5, Cavaliere del Lavoro and end user of so many pretty chicks, our beloved President Mr. Berlusconi IV.

Unfortunately Your Lowness, this message is rather addressed to the rest of the Italian people and to the world than to you, as imposed by the tradition passed from one Pasquino on to the other. However, should you find any of the propositions below worth of your attention you have but to pick it up and turn it into Law, as often you’ve done with the many other genial ideas that had flashed inside the bushy thickness of your head.

 Nevertheless, my fellow citizens, it is also true that I’m right now breaking the ancient tradition of this mask I’m wearing by talking to you in plain words rather than in rhymes and in English instead of Roman. There’s a reason for this language shift and the quickest way to explain it is using an Italian proverb which our international readers could find hard to grasp on the spot -a footnote will be added for all of them- but through which you should be able to understand and hopefully excuse this oddity of an English speaking Pasquino: parlare a nuora perché suocera intenda (1)

This letter’s looking for visibility: no one in the baby-born Europe seems able to recognize to what extent such a week and corrupted Italy can represent a common European problem, and that the bad practice of a pillaging political class is seriously risking to become a governance model within the EU bureaucratic system. Italy’s a little country with a very poor international profile, still it has a very proactive criminal scene and its people is exploited by a ruling class it did not really choose and which has been wasting our economical, cultural and environmental capital for the last forty years. Here in Italy each and every social compound is complaining right now, and demonstrating in the streets although you can find very little of it on the media: two generations have already lost their future and every common sense has gone; particular interests always prevail on the community ones and things might degenerate very soon. For this reason the Congresso degli Arguti(2), which I represent, has decided to release this list of measures that we think will be necessary for the future of our suffering nation in order to ensure a strong governance.

In the past centuries my people has given much to the world and contributed consistently to the development of human kind in many fields. Look at us know: we’re drowning in our own decadence.

(1)speaking to the daughter-in-law for the the mother-in-law to hear

(2)Congress of the Wits